Spiff's Journal

Log of Awesome

After the death of my parents I spent my teenage years growing up in a church of Iomedae. I trained tirelessly honing my skills in sword and shield in preparation. At the same time the priests taught me how to read, write, and about the history of our church. Those years served me well in training to honor my parent’s death. I vowed to make my parents proud by spreading my radiance to as many people as possible. Now that I am of age this is my voyage to discover myself and do right by my parents. I am a beacon of amazingness and this is my log.

It starts one day in Sandpoint where we gather to celebrate the creation of a new church. I remember seeing a lone ugly half orc playing the games of strength. I figure it would be a good chance to test my strength and skill and pair up against him. He looked so wild and unruly I decide at the last minute to let him win to bolster his confidence as it was obvious he wasn’t nearly as privileged as me.

As we finish our contest of strength the festival is attacked by some vile little green beings that I later found to be goblins. They start chanting and slaying innocent people. The big ugly orc is surrounded by the little monsters and stick him several times with their swords. I slide over and dispatch the ugly things bringing a little respite to the orc. He is bleeding pretty badly as I call out for someone to come assist him.
After getting patched up the orc runs over to slay more goblins but then falls down in a heap laughing hysterically. Meeting up with an archer, druid, jester, wizard, and the big ugly orc we finish off the goblins.

In search of more people to help against goblins we see a man with his dog. The goblins rip the dogs leg in half before we reach it and we proceed to dispatch them. At one point the big ugly orc tells me who and how to attack. I am not sure who he thinks he is so I decide to engage a different target and he goes down in a heap as he gets overwhelmed. I think that if we are going to be effective as a team I may need to work on allied tactics.

The man we saved turns out to be Alderon Foxglove and he was very happy that I could save him and awarded us with a free dinner and reward at the Hagfish. As I enter the Hagfish the patrons at the tavern cheer me on and I award them with my presence for the evening as we retell the battles of the day.

Apparently they have a ritual called Drinking the Hagfish and our group feeling festive decide to partake in this vile drink to commiserate our fellowship. First the short little Jester drinks his down and seems to be able to keep it down with no problems. That little jester sure can drink. Eon our mage drinks his and it comes out twice as fast as it went down, he looks pale. My turn to down the vile substance, I drink it with little effort but feeling bad for Eon choke it back out so he isn’t the only one that couldn’t drink it. Garret our rogue takes one smell of his hagfish drink and throws up before even trying it. Lastly, the big ugly orc drinks his down and makes it look like he is used to drinking his own urine. The rest of the night goes fine.

The next day the sheriff comes to meet us at our inn to thank us for assistance the previous day and to tell us that someone broke into one of the city’s tombs. He wanted us to investigate the tombs to see if we could find anything.

We got to the crypt and it was open. I approached the doors and they slammed outward as we were attacked by skeletons. We dispatched the skeletons and search the place. Noticing tracks leading over the wall we tracked them until the dumb orc lost the trail. Something tells me he needs a bit more practice in the tracking arts. Discouraged we head back to the Inn.

On the way back to the Inn a beautiful red haired women beseaches me to come help her eliminate some rats from her basement. Letting the rest of the group know I should be able to handle it I tell them I will meet up with them later. When I get to the basement of the womens house there were no rats and she starts to seduce me. Before I know what I am doing, she has half my clothes off and it is getting very hot in there. Out of nowhere her father walks in and starts screaming at me. Thankfully, I was able to talk him down and extricate myself from the building.

After receiving our rewards for saving the city from the goblins we get invited to a boarhunt. After hours riding through the forest we see the giant boar and engage it. Garrett draws back his clothy eyed shaft and takes aim. Releasing the arrow he shoots himself and starts bleeding critically. After several attacks by the Chronies, I vanquish it. Heading back to the Rusty Dragon we celebrate with a great feast.

The next day we investigate reports of a goblin living in some person’s closet. We get to the house and when we get to the room there is a person laying down face first in the closet. I reach to turn the person over to see if they are ok and there is a goblin eating the persons face from a hole in the floor. Startled and distracted I was unprepared for the little monsters attack. Thinking quickly the druids cat, Stripes tears the goblins face off.
Sir Spiff and the Chronies decide to take the fight to the goblins instead of waiting around for them to attack again. They decide to start exploring the city dump, much to Sir Spiffs chagrine. After several hours of walking around in the muck and garbage Sir spiff goes to the dung collectors house to ask him if he has seen anything. He wasn’t home.

After searching the ruins of the Lighthouse and finding nothing sir spiff decides to go back to the Rusty Dragon to clean all the garbage off his armor and to take a bath. The gnome who never shuts up decides to go to ply his trade at the theater (good luck with that)…
Sheriff Hemlock and Shalelu meet with us and ask that Sir Spiff stay in town because the citizenry feels safer with him around.

It appears the Innkeeper has a brother and he thinks that their father (the loud and boisterous guy) was responsible for the attack on Sandpoint. The brother wanted to meet Ameiko at the Glass works the day before and she hasn’t been seen since. Their maid approaches Sir Spiff with her concerns knowing he is the perfect person to figure out what happened.

We showed up at the Glassworks to find out what happened to Ameiko and it was closed. Sir Spiff and the chronies open the front door as some passerbys question what they are doing. Spiff explained to the concernec citizen that they were here on official Sheriff’s business and that everything was ok.

After searching the whole glassworks we find 8 goblins tearing the furnace room apart. We also found signs of someone searching for something in various other rooms. Seeing the goblins attack Sir Spiffs personal jester he cleaves the closest one in half. Eon waves his hand at a goblin and it didn’t appear to be impressed by it. Spiffs Jester continues to try and talk the goblins to death- it isn’t working. Stupid goblin gets lucky and hits spiff in the shin. Spiff cuts him down in a bloody heap.

Garret notches an arrow and misses horribly. That crazy Eon throws his oddly aerodynamic staff and hits a goblin in the shoulder. The goblins move in with their hot pincers to inflict pain on the chronies. Sir Spiff swings at one and it nimbly dodges. Sir Spiff yells at Eon to use those Magic Bolts – Eon unleashes a magic bolt of energy and obliterates one of the goblins. After exploding the goblin Eon falls down in a heap. Spiffs jester tries to pull a back flip off the table he was standing on and gets blasted by a goblin. Picking himself up the jester continues to try to talk the goblins to death. The goblins do see to be confused by it and it has been making it easier to hit them. Apparently the jesters words have some sort of healing qualities as Eon doesn’t look quite so hurt.

Garret the mighty archer turns to shoot the coward that attacked Eon in the back – his arrow bounces off the wall as it misses. Sir Spiffs jester speaks some more soothing words and heals Eon some more, then he moves to hide behind spiff so he can better protect him.
Sir spiff jumps up on the table and cuts down another vile goblin – he is happy because from up here he won’t get goblin juice on his boots. Garret jumps back a step and shoots tsuto, one he swats aside. Tsuto moves in to bitch slap Garrett and Garrett is having none of that as he deftly moves aside.

The jester’s words daze Tsuto. Sir Spiff swings down at the last goblin and splatters its innards on to the floor. Concentrating on Tsuto Sir Spiff attempts to look into the essence of Tsuto to see if he is truly evil. Sensing Tsuto’s evil nature Spiff moves in closer preparing to Smite him. Garret takes advantage of the dazed Tsuto and moves around to the back. Dann and his cat flanked Tsuto but missed badly chipping his claw on the wall. Eon gets up and moves out of melee trying to hit him with a spell but fails.

Sir Spiff calls to his goddess Iomedae to assist him in smiting this agent of evil. She answers his call infusing him with even more Spiffeness and he puts the smack down on Tsuto. Dann steps back to heal his claw so he can attack again. Tsuto steps up to punch Sir Spiff and misses because Sir Spiff’s spiffiness deflect the attack. Garret takes extra aim and is sure he has him in his sights but to no avail as his arrows just miss. Eon grimacing in pain launches a ray of freezing energy which proves to be too much for Tsuto to take and falls in a heap.

Tied up in a room in the basement we find Amadeica. After healing her with a potion she thanks us by giving us free room and board at the rusty dragon for life. We follow the smugglers to where it ends and decide we need to close this entrance off. Garret does some things with the locks so nobody can use this entrance. We take Amadeica back to the Inn and we all rest.

We decide to go thru the torn down wall to root out the goblins. On the way thru the catacombs we get attacked by some weird long armed baddy. As it hits the Ranger and Bard they get a weird gleam in their eyes, like they are coveting sir spiffs awesomeness. After Sir Spiff hurt the vile creature Eon froze it to death with his ray of frost.

After clamouring around small tunnels we find a red statue of a beautiful woman. It is made of some glittering metal and ivory. The greedy jester took the spear off of it and gave it to garrett.

Moving on we find some old and ancient jail cells. Poking around the cells we had no idea the sin spawns were in the rafters readying to drop on us. Eon moves to the top of the stairs and shoots jets of fire out of his hands and starts cooking them. Sir Spiff always ready to vanquish evil spins and mortally wounds the closest one. The ugly orc runs up the stairs and then throws himself off the balcony at the sin spawn. He hit it a glancing blow. The closest spawn took a bite out of spiff but he shakes off the feeling of greed because he is above that. Garret and Blue finish them off.

Continued searching of the dungeon leads us to an odd three armed goblin with a red sword. Spiff runs up to engage the vile goblin as Garret sticks an arrow in it. The odd goblin pulls the arrow out and his wounds heal up a little as he runs past spiff. He runs up to the group and spits bloody acid of everyone. While the chronies are nauseated sir spiff and the ugly orc smash him. Sir spiff invokes the power of the Spiffinesss. With no regards for his personal safety Sir Spiff moves around the vile goblin and chops him down. Sir Spiff liberates the goblin of his magic long sword.

Crawling deeper into the obviously evil depths of these catacombs Sir Spiff and the chronies come across an evil sprite that slits its wrist to summon baddies. Sir Spiff charges into the room. The druids cat runs into the room – following that the short jester walks into the room and starts to tell bad jokes thinking the pixie will turn himself in instead of being made to listen to them.

The evil pixie continues to try its bad voodoo magic on Sir Spiff but he is too awesome for that weak ass crap and shakes it off.

Garrett fires arrows off like a machine while he and Spiff make short work of the the spawned baddie. After the sin thing is down Spiff puts his shield down and takes out his crossbow of awesome cocking a bolt. Taking precise aim and invoking the power of Sir spiffs awesomeness he shoots a bolt right through the pixies wing and nailing it to the wall like a science specimen gone bad. Nobody can reach the thing stuck to the wall so the ugly half orc and sir spiff take turns with a long point stick trying to hurt it.

A minute later the chronies are still jumping up and trying to hit the stuck pixie. In the process they are hitting themselves more than the imp. I think the imp believes all he has to do is wait for the party to kill each other. After an eternity of futility the imps sickness wears off the chronies and the ugly orc finally kills it.
Spent Sir Spiff and the chronies go to town to rest.

After healing up and resting Sir Spiff and the chronies head back and move onward. They spot a gaping bat like thing as it attacks. Sir Spiff is kind of clueless.
The bat thing screeches and garrett, the jester, the cat, Eon, are all paralyzed.
Sensing another skirmish of ridiculousness the ugly orc runs up and cuts it in half.

After Cleaning the Catacombs of Wrath of its evil denizens – Sir Spiff and the Chronies head back to Sandpoint for some needed rest and recuperation.

After some pondering we decide to head out to thistletop to look for more goblins. One the way we encounter Nettle wood where our druid deftly guides us through. He even takes some time to guide Spiff from wandering in some poisonous goblin berries.
Druid finds a concealed door built into the thorny bushes it is only 4 feet tall and kind of cramped – apparently goblins don’t account for big strong awesome paladins to come visit…How rude..

We decide to visit anyways – squeezing through the narrow bramble we find a path that leads to a small Cliffside above water – along the ravine we see a base. We decide to double back to find an easier route. Stumbling deeper in we stumble across a den of filthy goblins. Garret shoots the first goblin he can see as Sir Spiff wades in, dodges another goblin and finshes him off.

With a display of little person bravery the jester runs into the room and starts telling bad jokes. Standing there mesmerized by our jesters witty banter the goblins are distracted and easier to hit. Sit Spiff steps up and slices a 2nd goblin in half. Garret steps in bhind Spiff and shoots a third one in the throat, it dies in a gurgling heap. The druids cat works itself into the room and hamstrings a goblin. Sir spiff wades in and slices another little gremlin in half. The jester pulls a morning star from god knows where and whacks a goblin over the head. Eon shoots a cold beam at one goblin but it only glances off its ear. Sir Spiff in an amazing disply of might steps into the room another step and strikes down the next goblin. Peace Bringer is working overtime!!! Just as Spiff levels that last goblin Eon hits him with a ice beam – Spiff thinks he may have to have a conversation with Eon about that later. Garret finished off the last one clearing the room.

Proceeding deeper into the thorny caves we come across a group of rat dog things. Our druid walks right though the thorns to whack the first rat dog. The dogs move up and attack the druids cat, how stereotypical? Stripes is looking hurt…Spiff enters the fray trying to get the rabid rat dog things off stripes. Stripes fights and draws some blood –the blood and spit is vile looking. Stripes may need some hand sanitizer when this is over. Dan the druid swings and misses but is doing a good job keeping the dog rats busy. Garret with pin point accuracy threads an arrow through his allies to kill a dog. Eon once again Eon shoots an ice bolt and misses badly. Maybe he can take some lessons from Garrett. Spiff steps in to defend Stripes and beats one of the dog rat things down with peace keeper. Shaking off his slump Dan swings mightily to knock a dog rat thing out. Garrett takes aim at the last rat dog thing but it was only a glancing blow. Seeing the dog stagger the jester throws a rock at it and slows it down as Spiff finishes it off – I guess if you want something done…

Moving on we round a corner and encounter another rat dog thing and a goblin with a flaming sword. Stripes moves in to attack while Dan contemplates giving someone a boon. Eon faced with looking bad with another missing attack resorts to something more dependable and shoots missiles made of magic at the goblin. The spellcasting goblin calls the thorns in the area to entangle us. As the thorns move in on us Sir Spiff is able to close the gap between him and the goblin before finally getting ensnared. Garret and stripes didn’t fare so well as they get entangled immediately. Garrett seeing his dilemma wiggles free of his bonds and hits the goblin with an arrow. The goblin produces a ball of fire and throws it at the chronies – we were too fast for that and dodge out of the way. Our jester tries to tell the druid spellcaster a knock knock joke but it was lost in translation. Sir Spiff flexes his massive muscles and shatters the thorny vines holding him down, as impressive at that was he also deftly dodges them trying to reentangle him. Stripes feeling like he needs to get his revenge on jumps on the Rat Cat thing digging his claws into it. Eon works his way through the vines to get closer. Sir Spiff closes in with the Cat Rat thing and misses because he was concerned that he might hit Stripes who was wrestling with it. Eon takes a swing with his staff and isn’t any more accurate up close than he is at range. The goblin caster moves into range for Spiff to whack it, peace keeper draws blood. The dirty goblin tries to touch spiff with his grimy little goblin hands but misses. Drawing back Sir Spiff hits the cat rat thing soundly.

Eon calls for Sir Spiff to come help him, he is in dire straits with the Goblin Caster. Sensing the sarcastic mage needs help Sir Spiff finishes off the cat rat thing so he can reach him. Sir Spiff feels burning pain as the goblin touches him. Reciprocating Sir Spiff hits him with Peace Bringer. As the goblin begs for forgiveness stripes finishes it off – leaving spiff wondering if these vile little evil goblins deserve mercy. Some personal reflection may be needed.

Sensing the parties need for rest they head back to Sand point to rest and pick up the Ranger. We double back and head over the bridge to the island base of the goblins. As we start crossing the bridge the rope bridge snaps throwing us down. Sir spiff is able to hold on as the bridge collapses against the side of the cliff. Fortunately for him he has super human upper body strength and climbs out. Several hours later we haul the big fat ugly orc out from the bottomof the ravine we assault the goblin keep.

After searching the front part of the keep we stumble across some sleeping goblins – the stealthier members of our troupe sneak up and put them out of their misery. Moving further into the keep we stumble upon a room of some more of those smelly rat dogs. The big ugly orc moves into the room and slices the first rat dog in half. Garret followed Rengar into the room and put a clothy eyed shaft through the dogs eye. The dog bites Sir Spiff and tries to inflict his vile disease on him but the spiffiness shone through and he shakes it off. The ugly orc follows up behind Spiff and beats the final two dogs down.

Moving in deeper we find some locked closets with food storage. One of the closets was being used as a jail cell holding a starved frantic horse. After Dan tries to calm it down it tries to take off. Sir Spiff used his lay on hands to soothe the horses nerves and to ease its suffering. Apparently our jester can talk to him – his name is ShadowMist.

A little farther in we finally find Ripnugget and his gang. Sir Spiff tells him that he is officially under arrest for the killing and marauding of Sandpoint. He was given the option to surrender or be judged guilty. Ripnugget orders his men to attack solidifying his guilt. He will be put down.

Eon opens up and hits Ripnugget with a burst of scorching heat. One of the goblins tries to tell a bad joke to our ugly orc but he has already heard that one. One of the goblins gtes lucky and hits Sir Spiff with his long weapon. Sir Spiff steps up and hits him back. Stripes jumps into the room dodging an attack from a goblin and bites him, he punctures the goblins lung. The Goblin is having a hard time breathing as his lung fills up with blood. Rengar runs into the room and attacks the goblin next to Spiffs opponent. Before his weapon can hit him it sticks into the pillar in the room. Eon shoots some slippery substance at Ripnugget but his agile lizard mount moves with no problem. Sir Spiff chops down the goblin in front of him. Ripnuggets’ lizard walks along the wall and attacks sir spiff as he goes by. Rengar tries to free “Pillar Slayer” from the pillar – it is stuck tight. He gives up and draws his hand axe and chops at the next nearest goblin. Eon unleashes two bolts of magic at ripnugget.

Sir Spiff chants his Goblin song as he smites Ripnugget –

Goblins scream and Goblins cry
Goblins will surely die
Goblins run and goblins hide
Goblins will take my sword in the side
Goblins stink and goblins smell
Goblins will go to hell

The lizard retreats along the wall from sir spiffs spiffiness. Stripes misses the goblin terribly. Eon launches two more missiles of magic at Ripnugget. Sir Spiff braces himself for Ripnugget to get in range to attack. Singing verse two of Sir Spiffs Goblin song Sir Spiff strikes Ripnugget down.

Wring their necks pull their hair
Throw them down the big long stairs
Kick the goblins in the nuts
Bleed them with our weapon cuts
Poke the goblins in the eye
Then they will surely die

Sir spiffs singing prowess serves to inspire the jester to be the best he can be. Shortly after being inspired by Sir Spiff the jester kills a goblin with his morning star. Garrett also inspired by Sir Spiffs battle song slays a goblin with his arrows of goblin devastation. Eon misses with his ray of frost…Dan steps up and kills the next goblin. Our jester swings at the last goblin and misses horribly, stepping back in embarrassment he lets Sir Spiff in his position so he can finish it off.

We continue to search through the keep for more goblins after finishing off Ripnugget. We find a room of 6 goblins sleeping. Sir Spiff and the chronies dispatch them with little effort.

Finished with the first floor Sir Spiff and the chronies begin searching the basement. After searching many rooms that resemble quarters for sleeping and studying we come across a single human that gets up and attacks us. Rengar moves into the room and gets the smack down put on him, mortally wounded Rengar is looking hurt. Our jester tells him one of his terrible jokes and for some reason he falls down laughing, I guess there is no accounting for taste. Eon burns him with his flaming ball of scorching and Rengar finishes him off.

Opening another plain door we walk in on a bugbear getting pleased by 4 female goblins. Eon shoots his ray of frost into the room but apparently had the point of reference for aiming backwards and shoots himself instead…Sir Spiff thinks that strategically this tactic has merit.The ugly orc moves up and hits the Bugbear with his double axe. Garret takes careful aim at the humongous sized bugbear blocking the whole doorway and unleashes two arrows but misses wide. The bugbear steps back into the room and drops his axe and picks up a bow. The goblin women move up to protect the bugbear. Sir Spiff thinks that it is pretty cowardly for the bugbear to hide behind women. Taking careful aim the bugbear sticks an arrow into Garrett – sir spiff hears Garrett screaming in pain behind him. Sir Spiff lets the bugbear know what he thinks about hiding behind women as he walks into the room. Garrett launches two more arrows into the room and then retreats into the next room. Dropping his bow the bugbear picks up his flail and misses spiff. Rengar moves into the doorway and slays one of the goblin women. Dann inspires Sir Spiff to greatness as stripes moves into the room. Sir Spiff feeling spiffy slays the last of the bugbears guardian goblin women. Garrett cowering in the other room drinks his last ditch emergency potion of healing. The cowardly bugbear hits sir spiff while he was distracted with the guardian goblin women. Distracted with Sir Spiff Rengar finishes off the bugbear.

Session 5
As we continue exploring Thistle top we fall upon a dungeon which thankfully looks empty. Through one of the doors of the dungeon is a temple to some evil demon. Two Demon dogs are peeing on the carpet as we charge them.

As soon as we enter the room the dogs turn to us and start howling. Eon drops his staff and starts running away…The closest dog charges our jester and almost rips his face off and drops to the ground. Sir Spiff steps back making room for the demon dogs to enter the room. Dann directs stripes to attack and step back, It seems that stripes was unsure what Dann was telling him and layed down instead. Off in the distance I think I can hear Eon screaming…Sir Spiff is waiting for the dogs to enter the room so he can dispatch them.

After crawling away from the doorway our jester drinks a potion of healing to help with his wounds. Crawling out Stripes finally understands what Dann wanted him to do. As the demon dog follows Stripes into the room Sir Spiff steps up and hits it with Peace Bringer. Eon’s screams sound farther away.

Demon dog enters the room and bites sir spiff in the leg and trips him. Standing up Spiff whacks the demon dog drawing a little more blood. Garret throws his dagger at the dog and hits but it doesn’t seem to phase it. We keep hacking it but it is hardly taking any wounds. Demon dog trips Spiff and wont release its grip on his leg. From the ground spiff hits the dog trying to wrench it from it’s grip.

It is looking bleak for Sir Spiff and the Chronies. The jester steps back and garret takes his spot and shoots at the dog with his bow. Dann summons a dog to his aid and attacks the demon dogs. Sir spiff stabs the second dog from the ground – he is losing a lot of blood. Garrett looks at Sir Spiff and nods, looking like he is ready to go down fighting also. He hits the dog with two arrows trying to draw its attention.

Dann summons a spider that attacks the demon dogs. Stripes swipes at the demon dogs and misses. Spiff hits the demon dog again and is wondering why in the world it wont go down!! Dans dog disappears removing any edge Spiff had on it. Sensing this Dann moves up and hits the dog. Encouraged by Danns bravery Sir Spiff swings at the dog and hits it again but it was only a glancing blow. At the same time he is wondering where the jester and the mage are. Moving up with a wand the jester and says a magic word but nothing happened. Spiff looks at him and he just shrugs…Garrett fires two more arrows and hits with one of them.
The dog finally gets around Spiffs defenses and brings him down. Seeing Sir Spiff go down the jester is inspired to get that wand working and zaps it knocking it down. Waking up Sir Spiff sees that his companions were victorious and Sir spiff has renewed faith in his new comrades. They may be more than just chronies.

After resting in one of the side rooms we move on to explore more of the dungeon. After some time we find a woman in a side room. Sir Spiff indicates that she is under arrest for crimes against Sandpoint. She scoffs Sir Spiffs attempts at arresting her and attacks us. Eon shoots a ray of fire at her while she casts a spell – now for some reason there are 5 of her. She turns around and opens the wall…wait what? The wall opens up and she steps through it. In pursuit Spiff follows and misses because of the dizzying effect of her shimmering copies. Dann in a rare bout of quick thinking summons an ant behind her so she cant get away. The ant hits her and one of her forms disappear. She disappears from view – Spiff knows that she is there and swings anyways but misses. Eons ball of fire hits the empty space that grunts in pain. In response a cone of fire shoots at Spiff out of nowhere. What an epic battle Spiff is in. After her cowardly attack she appears and Spiff hits her, eliminating her last image. Danns ant attacks her before it disappears. Dann summons a riding dog to take its place.

Garrett hits her with two arrows one of them in the throat making it hard for her to cast her next spell dropping her.

Moving deeper through this level of the dungeon. We come across some more cavern like rooms, one of which looks out over the cliff outside. As we move on to the next door Eon walks to the ledge to get a better view. As he does that something that looks like vines moves to attack him. At the last second he notices them and tries to dodge out. The vine attacks Eon and he starts to vomit with nausea. Stripes moves in to attack and the vines reach out and grab him. Poor stripes is caught : (

Sir Spiff moves around to help free Eon and Stripes and hits the vines with Peace Bringer. Our jester starts to tell some more bad jokes which for some reason inspires us to be better (maybe because we need to finish this quickly so we don’t have to listen to it anymore). The vines start to squeeze the life out of Stripes, with a loud roar he collapses. Sir Spiff slams the vines to try and save stripes from the jaws of the jungle beast. Blue tosses the dagger at it the vines and misses. Garret hits it with an arrow but only glances off it.
The viney beast drops stripes and grabs Dann. Dann is held fast in its thorny grip. Sir Spiff tired off seeing his companions suffer reachs back and strikes the vines down.
Moving down to the second level we come across a bunch of broken statues in several rooms. Stepping between two of these statues triggers a trap that dropped two portcullises trying to trap spiff in between them. Spiffs cat like reflexes dodges out of the way as scythes slide out from the statues and into the space spiff was just standing in. Spiff glares at Garret letting him know that he missed one.

Deeper in we discover a demon hand woman in a round room. Blue starts to tell her his bad joke but she doesn’t look impressed. Moving into the room Dann engages her. Sir Spiff sensing her evilness invokes the power of Iomedae and moves in to smite her. Garrett produces a fog like mist effectively obscuring us from her. She blasts Dann and he drops in a heap, leaving her vulnerable. Spiff sensing an opening he swings and misses. The jester heals Dann but as Dann tries to crawl away she knocks him out again, Dann is clearly frustrated. Eon hits her with a missiles of magic before trying to get at his potions to help Dann. The demon woman slides out of the fire and puts a whoop on Spiff. He shakes it off and heals himself before smacking her.

The jester sustains his bad jokes before feeding Dann a potion of healing. Dann stands tall well kneels bravely and casts summon riding pony… She strikes Dann down once more. She then casts a spell on herself and tries to move in Garretts fog. Fortunately for us the fog was burned away and she isn’t concealed. Nobody can seem to hit this demonic agent of evil. OMG we are getting our asses kicked. NOBODY can hit her it is the ugliest display of power I have ever been seen. It is a good thing there are no witnesses to see the level of ineptness. Eon is crying non stop about retreating. Sir Spiff has her dead to rights finally but misses her in the fog. She steps over to Garrett and drops him in one stroke. Man this demoness of pain needs to die. Sir Spiff senses his allies nerve waning and starts to pray to Iomadae for her blessing. The garrett stabilizes himself so he can distracting her one more round before she kills him again. Taking advantage of our sorry state the demon woman escapes.

Licking our wounds and egos Sir Spiff and the Chronies head back to Sandpoint to rest and re-equip ourselves. After 2 days of learning, rest, inner reflection, and shopping we head out again.

Back in the dungeon we are determined to stamp out this headquarters to evil. We find a strange workroom filled with surgical tools. We confiscate these implements of evil so they can no longer be used for nefarious deeds.

In the next room we explore a new room with a fire pit in the middle of it. Blue goes into the room to search the gold pillars and gets attacked by an invisible cat thing. The giant kitty gives the party the sad eyes and half of us fall into despair. Sir Spiff isn’t falling for these tricks and shakes it off.

Entering the Smite zone of awesome Sir Spiff shakes off the cats attacks and gets some buffs from Blue making him even better looking than before (if that’s possible). The Demon cat attacks and spiff retaliates missing again, spiff really needs to regain his confidence to win the day. The demon cat keeps racking stripes and biting spiff. Reaching deep in Sir Spiffs reservoir of awesomeness and bolstered by his allies faith spiff lands a telling blow to the demon cat.

Sir Spiff lunges and the cat dodges. The demon cat swats and spiff ducks. Eon finishes the demon cat off with a scorching burst of fire. Yay Eon !!! Makes up for hitting spiff in the head with the ice bolt.

Further exploration brings sir spiff and the chronies run across three ghostly images. The ghosts touch is draining Sir Spiffs strength. He is starting to look white and shivering as the ghostly monsters keep hitting Spiff. Digging deep into his faith Sir Spiff channels the power of Iomedae and obliterates one of the ghosts just after eon kills one with his magic blast. Garrett keeps hitting the ghosts with arrows and nothing seems to affect them. Garret finally getting tired of his weak ass arrows switches to darts of acid and finishes off the last ghost.

Searching more of the dungeon we discover a small cave with a pond of some sort. We send Garret in to search for stuff and is attacked by a giant crab. Sir Spiff wades in and swings, true to the luck of the day he misses yet again. With that his faith is once again challenged as he tries to fight through it. Eon keeps hitting it with missisles of magic. Sir Spiff shakes off his slump and hits the crab, feeling weak his damage isn’t as effective as it normally would be. Stripes saves the day and finishes off the giant crab. We take its treasure and its body to sandpoint for some much needed feasting and resting.

Session 6
After a few days of rest and reflection the sheriff approaches Sir Spiff and the chronies – It seems there is a copy cat murderer on the loose. The sheriff hands Sir Spiff a note found on one of the bodies that was addressed to Sir Spiff.

It reads :
“We have spoken of this before, my master. Now it begins. Join the Pack and it will end”

It appears someone is looking to set Sir Spiff up. We head to the crime scene at the Lumber Mill. After several hours of searching the crime scene we figure out that the owner of the general store may have had motive as he was skimming from the books and involved with one of the crime families of Sandpoint. We meet back up with the sheriff and compared notes. He indicated that there was a similar incident outside of town and that the one survivor was now in the Asylum.

We head to the asylum to speak with this person and Sir Spiff immediately notices that he is suffering from Ghoul fever. He tells Sir Spiff that The Master is waiting for him to join the pack and that we need to head to FoxGlove Estate to join them. Right as Sir Spiff reaches to heal the poor fellow he falls down, bursts out of his straight jacket and attacks. It is understandable how difficult it can be to be in the presence of such awesomeness.

Rengar and his wolf attack the newly undead dead guy. Sir Spiff steps up and puts the poor afflicted guy out of his misery.

After finishing him off Sir Spiff and the Chronies move on searching his rooms and the rest of the asylum for clues. We find a were rat named Fidget and Eon promised to cure his lycanthropy as soon as he can (a promise I intend to make him keep).
We decide to go back to the inn to rest and provision up before we head to Foxglove Estate. That night a farmer tells us of undead attacks on them.

Approaching the farm areas we find our first scarecrow, Sir Spiff bravely steps up and pokes it with his sword. The scare crow is only made of straw. We think that the farmer may have been tipping back too many ales. Moving along the road we come across three more scare crows at a crossroads. As we get closer to inspect two of the scare crows burst climb down from their supports and attack us. The Scare Crow Ghouls close in on the group as Garret steps up and sticks two arrows into the first one, dropping it. Eon shoots the next one wounding it – Rengar finishes it off.

Moving along the road we inspect more Scare crows, Garrett suggest just shooting them from a distance but Sir Spiff advises against that in case there are innocent people tied to the scare crow posts. Not heeding Spiffs advice Garrett shoots the next scare crow and instead of bleeding straw it bleeds blood. Grunting in pain as the innocent farmer dies from an arrow to the knee, sir Spiff just glares at Garrett. Fortunately for him we found that the farmers were in the final stages of Ghoul Fever. What kind of insidious and vile person would infect innocent people with Ghoul Fever and hang them from scare crow crosses to attack innocent people after they turn…

After reaching the farm Sir Spiff and the Chronies decide to investigate the farm first. Opening the doors we stumble across 6 ghouls. Stepping into the room Sir Spiff chops one down. Garrett wildly shoots into the melee and misses. The smelly orc attacks and wounds two ghouls. The rest of the vile undead surround Sir spiff and try to penetrate his awesomeness but miss when faced with the pure good faced them. Spiff radiates his awesomeness even more and the remaining 6 ghouls shriek in terror. Two of them drop dead in spiffs radiance. Reaching back spiff strikes down the next two as the rest of the party watches in amazement.

After cleaning out the barn we move into the house. Sir Spiff knocks on the door and nobody answers. Deciding to investigate the eerily silence of the house we enter the house. Standing inside the house is a really big ghoul, Garret thinks it is a Ghast (whatever that means). Rengar runs up to attack and the ghast smacks him – Rengar can no longer move or talk apparently (I wonder if we can bottle that ability) – he must be paralyzed. Spiff runs up and yelling for strength from Iomedae he smites the evil that is ghast. The ugly orc isn’t looking so good.

Exploring the house we find and sense many weird visions and smells. The rooms are haunted or something. In one room Spiff thinks his parents are killing each other. In another room there is a child burning or something. We find a room with a portrait hanging backwards – as soon as we turn it around Rengar, Eon, and Garret start attacking themselves. After several rounds of them smacking themselves they shake out of it. After checking the rest of the crazy haunted rooms on the second floor we move to the attic.

Session 7

Moving up to the attic Sir Spiff and the Chronies come up to the first door and open it into a storeroom. Searching it, it appears to be empty. Moving on we come across a weird room with skulls and candles, stepping in washes memories of someone else and someplace else. This room permeates sadness and Blue is looking a little down. Detecting a faint aura of magic and evil over the whole room, we move on to see if we can find the source of this crazy houses secrets.

From down the hallway we hear the sound of someone screaming. Sir Spiff runs down the hallway and tries to kick in the door. With a mighty kick of sir spiffs boot the door doesn’t budge. Thinking clearly Garrett picks the lock and throws the door open. Sir Spiff jumps into the room to see disgruntled women crying. She is crying in her mirror and non responsive, as soon as we cover her mirror with a blanket she yells that she is coming for Alderon and starts to leave the room. Feeling responsible for whatever mischief she may cause Sir Spiff follows her – Apparently Rengar is the only one following along.

The rest of the group stays behind to further investigate the attic. Sir Spiff follows her to the first floor where he meets up with Dann (where has he been anyways) and where she digs open the floor boards to reveal a basement catacomb area. Sir Spiff tackles her and attempts to restrain her before she can get away. She unleashes a blood curling scream and breaks his grip – taking off down the hallway. Thinking that having some backup makes sense sir spiff, Rengar, and Dann take the nearest steps up to the first floor.

Meanwhile, the rest of the party continue to investigate the attic – one room makes Eon panic and throw himself out of the window. In a mad scramble Blue throws him a rope to help him get back before he falls over the ledge and down into the Cliffside.
Sir Spiff and half the chronies head back up to the first floor using the first stairs we find. As we come up the main level, the rest of the group is coming down from the second floor. Back together again we move along to explore the first level of this stragely haunted house. Meanhile, Dann indicates that there was another murder in town with a note pinned to it addressed to Sir Spiff. It is starting to look like Foxglove may be the one leading us around like puppets.

The next room we come across has an old piano in it and Blue starts to play. The piano jumps to life in a classic piece encouraging Garrett to start dancing with ghosts. Who thought he had such mad skills.

Entering the next room Sir Spiff seeing a view of some woman and feared for her life. Sir Spiff is all of a sudden fearful for his and Blues safety and picks him up and starts to leave the room. Blue being as squirelly as he is squirms free. Spiff shakes out of the effects of the strange vision.

Finishing off the first level of this crazy house we work our way down to the basement in search of the crazy woman. At the bottom of the steps there are swarms of rats. Swarming all over Rengar and Spiff they fill the room and attack us – Rengar is crying “Get them off, Get them off” and runs into the room.

Blue starts making some really loud noises and the rats ran off. We finish searching the basement level and then go down the stairs to the catacombs. Working our way through the catacombs we come across 3 ghouls. Rengar and his dog flank the first one and cut it down. Sir Spiff tries to run around Dann to flank the second ghoul and the foul beast gets lucky and hits Spiff. Spiff is now paralyzed and cant move. Blue starts telling bad jokes and oddly enough inspires us to be better. Rengar steps up and chops the second ghoul in half.
From deeper down the tunnel more ghouls arrive and attack Rengar. He shakes off their effects. Eon is strangely missing…Maybe that coughing down the side corridor is him. The swarm of ghouls eat Rengars new dog. Eon comes in from around the corrider hefting a crossbow of all things and shoots one of the ghouls in the eye. Garret takes notice of his mad ranged skills.

After this weary battle everyone was hurt – Sir Spiff encourages the group to huddle in close to bask in his awesomeness. Healing everyone back to health we move on.

Moving on we come across a huge room shaped like a big toilet. Rengar goes running into the room and slides over the edge looking like he got flushed down the toilet like a great big smelly orc turd. The goblin zombies took try to eat them some orc turd as he swims past them. The rest of the chronies try to inch themselves into the room without falling as the goblin zombies move closer. Sir Siff realizing the would sink fairly quickly and not wanting to be flushed down like the smelly orc pulls out his bow and prepares to shoot the baddies.
Rengar throws his javelin from the bottom of the chute, his forward momentum throws him off balance and he falls back into the water. As the ghoul zombie goblins move closer Sir Spiff tosses his bow behind him and pulls out his sword lunging at the nearest enemy glancing off the wall as it nearly misses. The rest of the chronies move back into the hallway hoping to draw the bad goblins into the room. Dann kills one as Eon shoots his missiles from the other side of the room finishing off the last one. The Chronies are victorious. Rengar gets about halfway up the chute and falls back down.

Garrett and Dann use pitons and rope to assist us in climbing down to the next door.
Entering the hallway through the bashed in door we walk in on Alderon Foxglove in his true form. He is hideous and obviously undead. Seeing Sir Spiff and obviously realizing Spiff is the greatest threat he attacks and paralyzes Sir Spiff. Rengar moves into and flanks him with his wolf (who needs a name) and misses terribly. Eon steps into the room and hurls a ball of fire at him. Blue starts telling the group some funny stories encouraging us to do better. The chronies surround him and clearly outnumbered he starts asking for forgiveness. After several seconds of craven confessions he attacks us again – It doesn’t look like he is remorseful at all. The Chronies finish him off as Spiff recovers from his paralyzation.
Checking the last tunnel of the catacombs on our way out we come across an evil undead bat creature. Jumping into the fray Sir Spiff calls upon Iomadae to smite this evil creature mortally wounding it. Garrette steps in and finishes it off with an arrow to its eye.

The group continues to argue about what to do with the evil mask. Sir Spiff is adamant that it needs to be destroyed. The vile thing made of the skin of innocent people has to be destroyed. Spiff fights for destroying the mask until the Chronies give in – unfortunately, they almost seem that their avarice is greater than their desire to remove an obviously evil item from the world. Spiff is starting to think that his group of allies aren’t as honorable as he thought…

Sesion 8

After spending several days in Sandpoint Sir Spiff and the Chronies rest up, learn new spells, pray, reflect, and heal they decide to move along to Magnamar to check out Foxgloves other estate. We pack up our horses and head out.

Upon reaching Magmar Eon suddenly remembers hearing where foxgloves house is and directs us straight to it. Considering it is daylight and the house is boarded up we need a distraction to crack the lock on the front door. Spiffs Jester goes down street and starts to tell bad jokes to distract the populace as Garrett cracks the lock letting us in.

As we enter we hear a womans voice from the kitchen – Eon decides to impersonate Alderon Foxglove and we go in to greet the woman. Suspecting shenanigans Sir Spiff does a detection of evil on the woman. She radiates an aura of evil and we decide to play along. Sir Spiff is on edge and anticipating anything. The women calls in her servant to bring dinner. Once he comes into the room she transofirms into a hideous beast and pulls out a sword before Spiff can react and attacks Eon. Not suspecting an attack Eon almost goes down, pulling himself together in a reflex of self defense he shoots Lightning from his hands. Our smelly orc attacks the woman but misses. She attacks him and he is looking Sickened.

Sir spiff snaps out of his surprise and takes two attacks finishing off the vile beast. After striking her down Eon offers quarter to the servant. Seeing he has no chance at beating the might strength of Sir Spiff he surrenders. Spiff slaps his manacles on him and we proceed to search the rest of the estate.

We turn the monster into the local sherriff and ask him for information on the local murders that resemble the ones in Sandpoint. He admits that they have been having similar issues but refuses to give us any details.

After finishing up with the sherriff we go back to Foxgloves Estate to setup base then we head to the sawmill to look for clues. After making our way to the Managers office we get ready to knock on the office door and the workers don some skin masks and attack us.
Garrett summons that creepy mist hiding his location and Eon fills the back part of the room with webs to slow down the rear facing. Sir Spiff shouts out to Iomadae to grant him strength – Sir Spiffs sword starts to burn with Holy Fire and charges into the middle of the enemies ranks – shedding off attacks from two foes on his way through.

All the skin masks try to get through the web and attack us but miss. The orc drops his weapon because the bad guy tells him to…Not sure who’s side he is on. Snapping out of it he pulls out his long sword and finishes off one of the skin masks. Sir Spiff and his flaming sword starts to do a dance of death whirling and twisting back and forth. Flexing his massive muscles and bouncing back and forth with the flaming sword he instills fear in the remaining skin masks. Spiff ends the dazzling display of Spiffeness with a rock star smile leaving his foes shaking in their boots.

Shaking in their boots our jester shouts loudly at the skin masks and they drop their weapons as they are stunned in place. Faced with going against such a major force of amazingness they all throw down their weapons and surrender.

After getting information from the bad guy we make them agree to leave town. Following the lead we get from him we head to some huge tower to investigate. On the way, Sir Spiff and Garrett discuss the possibilities of assuming the ownership of the saw mill to build houses for the homeless and to provide jobs for the unemployed.

After reaching the tower, the smelly orc discovers tracks and starts to follow them. Approaching the cart in the courtyard Rengar gets attacked by some monstrosity created from many different body parts. Rengar moves in and gets smacked. Eon casts a firey enchantment on Garretts arrows. Shooting burning arrows Garrett hits the abomination slowing it down. Rengar exchanges blows with it and after a few rounds chops it down.

Session 9

After slaying the fleshy golem we search the rest of the main level of the tower finding some coin to assist us in our expenses.

We decide to climb up the tower to see what is up on the top. Working our way up the steps we find that the steps are not all that secure and have to spread out. We come across an area that the stairs are broken away from the wall and we are faced with having to jump across.

Garret jumps across the gap and lands on then the other side. Rather than all of us trying to jump across Garrett uses his piton and rope and gives us an easier way to climb up. The rest of us file back down to the bottom of the tower and start to climb up. While the rest of the party climbs up to the 2nd level Dann the Druid turns into an eagle and flies to the 5th lvl and pitons a rope for Garrett to climb up.

As this is all going on somebody cuts one of the bells loose from the top of the tower. The bell crashes through Garrett (who deftly steps aside) but Eon and Dann were not so fortunate. The bell knocks the two of them off the steps crashing to the ground. Barely alive Eon heals Dann so Dann can get up and heal himself.

With a third of the party on the top level – a third of the party on the middle level – and the other third on the ground we get attacked by three creatures. Garrett and Rengar move to attack them while Spiff and his Jester try to climb up to the top. Eon shoots them from the bottom of the tower while Dann runs up the steps to catch up.

The jester gets 60% of the way up to the top of the tower and freezes in terror. He is having a hard time moving on, I think he needs a boost of confidence to make it the rest of the way.

Garrett and Rengar finish off the faceless creatures and after some time we got the rest of the party up the tower.

At the level above the bells man this is a tall tower we find a small room with a boarded off door. Sir Spiff flexes and starts pulling off boards while Garrett feels the need to step in and hit some spots where the boards just fall off. Clearly Sir Spiff had already loosened them but we can let him think he did well.

Moving forward we discover a giant snake creature, Seeing us she multiplied herself into 7 copies. Eon lays his hands on Sir Spiff and not sure how or if it was even possible but making him look more spiffy. Moving forward she whacks spiff then moves into the corner to get away from the awesomeness.

Wheedling down the serpent lady is slow work. It looks like she has cursed the group because the elemental hits himself, Sir Spiff attacks himself, and Garret shot himself with an arrow…Not sure what is going on but Spiff doesn’t approve…Garret blinded because of hitting himself with his own arrow he loses his grip on his bow and searching around blindly trying to regain his hold on his weapon.

Sir Spiff and the Chronies start to pull it together and wear her down. The closer she gets to death she casts another mirror image and there are now 9 of her. Not wasting any time the chrones and sir spiff beat the copies down quickly. She tries to cast invisibility as a last ditch effort but forgetting that she was glittering from the jester the DM has to figure out what the hell….I guess she disappears, Spiff calls shenanigans while the rest of the chronies justify the decision…

Climbing on the ceiling she tries to get away. Garrett and the smelly orc move to block the door. Trying to move past Dann menagerie of creatures Eon senses she is near and blasts her with a cone of fire. Yelling that she is in front of him Eon tries to tell us where to attack. We hit her again but she shakes that off and moves past Garrett and starts to climb down the side of the tower. Eon walks over to the side of the ledge and shoots her with his magic missile finishing her off. Her dead body flies off the tower to dull thud.

She had 8 chests and Garrett was unable to unlock them so as punishment we make him go down and loot her body to see if she has the keys on her. Coming back up with her loot we get all the treasure – yay team !!!

Session 10

Session 10
We spend some time spending our hard earned gold on new equipment. Eon starts to work on a new magic item. Sir Spiff goes to get fitted for some armor. Dann disappears into the woods and Blue found a new headband (he thinks it makes him look pretty).

Mayor Grobaras sent a messenger to us – he needs our assistance. Seems that one of their garrisons has gone silent and he needs us to go investigate. On our way out of town we come across Shalelu Andosana. She offers to join us on our journey.

After a day of travelling we setup camp. Sir Spiff is on the first watch when a 20 ft spider wanders into the camp looking for food. Dann summons a crocodile and send stripes in to attack. Spiff starts his sword on fire and closes in on the spider. Eon summons a snow storm around the spider making it hard to move. After several rounds of beating on the spider we kill it. Not without consequence though, it seems sir spiff and Dann are seriously weakened and are lacking strength.

The second day, we encounter some pixies that took Eons new ring and Blues new headband and ran off into the woods. Insert chase scene – Dann tears ass through the woods – First he determines that the moss is on the right side of the trees, then he uses his druid powers to manipulate a field of Brambles, then he finds a game path to follow, he then climbs a steep hill, he then jumps into a river and swims across, dodges vines that are clearly not assassin vines, feeds a bear a biscuit, and cuts the pixies to the chase.

We spend the night with the pixies

Next day we head out, Dann and Spiff were able to regain their strength before leaving. On the way we came across two Ettins that thought Sir Spiff and the Chronies were lunch. Blue sang some wild bard song which sped the party up. Dann’s animals and Shalelus arrows made short work of them.

Making our way to the village we stopped at an inn and asked about what is going on in the area. We learned that the black arrows have been quiet in some time. Blue talks a peasant into showing us where their base is.

Spiff's Journal

Tanthalyn's Rise of the Runelords Sir_Spiff